Funny New Year Resolutions
1) I will try not to finish my breakfast, lunch and dinner while sitting and staring at the computer like an owl.
2)I will be less of a nuisance on the facebook by not plastering everyone's walls with fake, cheerful messages.
3)I am going to make a gigantic effort to stick to my diet regime.
4)I am going to think of more innovative, believable excuses in the new year for skipping office.
5)I will start saving money and cut on my expenses by making my friends pay for fancy restaurant bills.
6)I am going to give Twitter a really sincere try though I know its too intellectual for me.
7)I am not going to secretly rejoice in myself when my friend is having a bad hair day and is not looking her usual glamorous self.
8)In the office, I will try and concentrate more on that nagging, boring case study rather than stare at the pretty girl sitting right opposite me.
9)I am going to make an effort to learn proper English and not type SMSes which have weird, incorrect and indecipherable abbreviations for regular words.
10)I will not try to show off my Blackberry phone.
11)I will not fight with the subzi waala for putting one twig of coriander less in my daily purchase of vegetables.
12) I am going to try and read the main section of newspaper rather than focus on the filmy & page 3 gossip in the supplement edition.
13)I will try and follow news of national importance which is really important and that does not include Kat-Salman break-up or Deepika on the look for her nth boyfriend.
14) I am not going to fall for the charm or fancy speeches given by Rahul Gandhi and declare him to be the greatest politician ever.
15)I am going to stop repeating how dirty are the roads of my colony just when I am throwing an empty packet of chips onto the road.
16)I will not fight with my neighbors for the smallest, tiniest and minutest issues.
17)I will stop taking photos of my face in different angles and give silly poses on the camera. Moreover, I am going to do everybody a huge favor by not posting these pictures on facebook.
18)I am going to be a good Samaritan by not boasting about the sweet things my boyfriend does for me in front of my best-friend who is still single.
19)I will try and stop hating Rakhi Sawant so much.
20)I am going to avoid watching reality shows while complaining that how unreal, tacky and idiotic these tv shows can be.
21)I am going to make myself believe that Shahrukh Khan is still 25 years old. ;)
22)I am going to take a firm resolution not to watch those Akshay Kumar movies which "promise" to be full of "comedy".
23) I am going to be generous and give Ram Gopal Verma a second chance for impressing me with his movies.
24)I will try and not to shut down the television channel in disgust when Barkha Dutt is sincerely debating about the deteriorating state of politics and economy in our country.
25) I promise to myself not to be a loser by believing everything new channels announce, talk, debate and declare.
26)I promise not to laugh out loud when Mallika Sherawat wears her silvery,ugly looking snake outfit and calls herself the "hottest woman" on earth.
27)I must repeatedly remind myself that if I want to hear good music by A.R.Rahman, then hollywood movies are the source from now on.
28)I will not believe the newspapers and channels on which Suresh Kalmadi will come back to announce "India Hosting Olympics' to be the grandest event of the century.
29)Whenever Sanjay Leela Bhansali will make his next appearance on TV to talk about his next sensitive, emotional, intellectual movie, I will run for my dear life and not visit a movie theatre for the fear of somehow ending up to watch his movies.
30)I am going to be a good listener from now on ; which is applicable only when people are praising me.
31)I am going to smile politely and control my urge to slap them when they say Big Boss is highly entertaining and the ruler of all television shows.
32)I am going to convince myself that Veena Mallik will be the face of Bollywood cinema in the next 2 years.
33) I am going to make a news year resolution every year that I will not make a new year resolution.
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